


Butterfly Dreams

by Rekall



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: Dreams, Gen, Magic, POV Female Character, Wishes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-19
Updated: 2011-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-27 14:10:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/296689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rekall/pseuds/Rekall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuuko thinks about her past with Clow Reed and wonders about Watanuki's future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Butterfly Dreams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ocelotspots](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ocelotspots/gifts).



The shop shuddered around Yuuko before returning to normal. If the others, Mokona and Watanuki, noticed they didn't say anything about. Yuuko of course noticed; she was fully aware that the shop was currently struggling to continue to exist. Maru and Moro were constantly asleep all the time now, using their powers to keep the shop from disappearing. It was strange in a certain way; Maru and Moro needed the shop to exist and the shop needed them, but Yuuko would have it no other way. They needed each other to survive because Yuuko knew better than anyone what it was like to exist when you weren't supposed too. The shop gave Maru and Moro a reason to exist and they gave the shop a reason to exist. They gave each other a purpose.

Letting her glaze fall to Watanuki - who was currently in the process of eating the food he had made for them all only a short time ago - Yuuko reminded herself that she was not only person in the shop who was currently existing when they should not. If it hadn't been for Syaoran, Watanuki wouldn't have existed at all.

"Is something wrong?" Watanuki suddenly asked, breaking into Yuuko's thoughts. He was looking at her with a concerned expression. It wouldn't do; she was supposed to worry about him, not the other way around.

"My cup is empty," Yuuko replied, while pouting. She knew it would be a good distraction. Alcohol was always a good distraction.

A lazy grin crossed Yuuko's face as Wataunki stood and stormed from the room. Although their relationship had changed a lot since their first encounter, it was still fun teasing him. Watanuki's reactions were always far too amusing. Even a simple request like more alcohol was enough to send him into a scowling protest. In the end however, he would always complete his task, no matter what she ordered him do. There were many good things about Watanuki and being reliable was one of those things. He was certainly his parents' son even if he was never intended to exist.

Never intending to exist was something Yuuko knew all too well. She couldn't even remember any more how long ago it had been since the day she should have died, but didn't thanks to a simple request. Existing when you weren't supposed too was no normal life. Even Watanuki knew that much and he still had no clue about his true identity. Watanuki still thought he was a normal human and Yuuko was determined to keep things that way for as long as possible.

"What's wrong?" Mokona asked. Like Watanuki, he had sensed the shift in Yuuko's mood.

"I think we're out of sake," Yuuko smoothly lied. She didn't want to bother anyone with her personal issues; not even Mokona. She had dealt with things all by herself since Clow Reed had died and she would continue to do so.

"No!" Mokona protest, instantly taking the bait.

"Why don't the two of you go pick up some," Yuuko suggested, knowing that Mokona wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to stalk up on more alcohol. "Make sure you get a lot since we don't want to run out again anytime soon."

"Okay!" Mokona cheerfully cried and Yuuko couldn't help but give a genuine smile. It was hard staying upset with Mokona around but she wanted to be alone for the time being.

Keeping the smile on her face, Yuuko watched as Mokona hurried from the room. She could hear Watanuki's protest as Mokona delivered the message and she knew Watanuki was thinking they had enough alcohol around the place. It was true, but she knew she could count on Mokona to specify a certain type of sake that they were currently out of.

A moment later, she could hear as Watanuki and Mokona prepared to leave. Like always, Watanuki couldn't resist a request of Yuuko's.

Once she confident that Mokona and Watanuki had left and wouldn't be back anytime soon, Yuuko rose from the plush cushions she was seated upon. The trip to the store wouldn't take long and she needed to complete her business in a hurry or else Watanuki and Mokona would just worry and she didn't want that. Maru and Moro were not an issue, even though through the shop they could see and be aware of everything that happened inside the place. Maru and Moro could keep secrets since they had been by Yuuko's side for a long time. There wasn't much about her that they didn't know.

It didn't take Yuuko long to reach the treasure room. The place was much neater lately thanks to the chores she made Watanuki do on a regular basis. The place had been a mess before Watanuki arrived but even then Yuuko never had a problem in finding things in it. Things had a way of being discovered when they were needed and then disappearing again when they were not necessary. It was part of the magic of the place.

A smile appeared on Yuuko's face as she found what she was looking for; a simple pair of glasses which had once belong to Clow Reed. She could still picture him with the prissy but loyal Yue and the devoted Cerberus by his side. It was hard to believe so many years had already passed since his death. Yue and Cerberus had a new master now, one cute and adorable. At times Yuuko wondered if she should contact the young mage who had inherited Clow's powers, but she never had. Kinomoto Sakura wasn't Clow and it wouldn't be right to bother her with the past. Clow was gone; gone but not forgotten. Moves Clow had made when he was still alive were still being played out in the complicated game of life.

Yuuko knew all too well what it was like being caught up in Clow's game. She was also currently playing the role of one of Clow's pawns, even though she was a chess piece he had never counted on.

She believed Clow when he said he never intended for her live when she had been dying. Clow had underestimated his own powers; they both had. Although Clow had never admitted it, Yuuko had a strong suspicion that incident was the reason he decided to end his own life. Magic which could be cast unintentionally was too powerful for one man to try and control. Clow was lucky Yuuko's extended life was the only casualty that occurred over the years. The result of that event was still being played out. It was a good thing Clow had a noble heart, that kind of magic in the wrong hands could have easily destroyed the world. Dangerous men would do anything to achieve the type of power that Clow naturally had. Even now there was such a man who was trying to surpass Clow. Fei Wong Reed's actions had already effected so many people.

Fingering Clow's old glasses, Yuuko let her thoughts about Fei Wong Reed slip through her mind. Instead she thought about the first time she had met Clow. She had been so young back then, and alone since she hadn't yet discovered how to create beings. Clow had taught her that. Back then she hadn't even known other worlds existed. That had been before her encounter with the original Mokona, which the current ones were based off of. The original Mokona had taught them things even Clow hadn't been aware of.

Replacing the glasses, Yuuko headed back to the previous room she had been in. Watanuki and Mokona would be back soon and she didn't want them to know she had left. They would only worry when there was nothing to worry about.

Like Yuuko suspected, Watanuki soon returned carrying a plastic bag full of bottles of sake. Mokona bounded behind him - cheerful as always - and even Watanuki appeared to be in a better mood. Yuuko suspected he had met Himawari since she was one of the few things that could make him so happy. If Watanuki had instead encountered Doumeki, Yuuko suspected that Watanuki would have returned in a worst mood than when he had left. Although the two were on much better terms now, Doumeki still had a way of getting under Watanuki's skin. Yuuko suspected Doumeki liked it. She certainly could relate to why Doumeki enjoyed tormenting Watanuki.

A genuine smile crossed Yuuko's face as she watched Watanuki prepare the sake. He was so happy; she wanted that happiness to continue and not be swept away when everything was concluded.

"I'm hungry."

It hadn't been her intention to further tease or make Watanuki do more work for that day. But due to thinking about Clow earlier, Yuuko had a sudden desire to for his cooking. Although Watanuki's style wasn't the same, it was close enough.

"But you just ate not that long ago," Watanuki protested. "And I want to go home."

Yuuko didn't blame him for being upset, but she wasn't going to show it. Besides there were times when it was better for Watanuki to stay at the shop. At the shop he was protected from some of the more dangerous things in the world. The shop was safe, Watanuki's apartment was not.

"A snack; something for dessert," Yuuko replied, before taking a moment to address the other part of Watanuki's argument. "You can stay here for tonight."

"I want a snack too!" Mokona cheerfully added and Yuuko grinned. With Mokona on her side she knew Watanuki wouldn't be able to resist them both. She could already tell that Watanuki's resolve was weakening.

"Not something too sweet," Watanuki warned and Yuuko grinned, knowing she had won. It didn't matter if the food was sweet or not. As long as it tasted like Clow's cooking, it didn't matter what Watanuki made.

Reluctantly, Watanuki went to the kitchen with Mokona following him, leaving Yuuko alone once again. She was tempted to wake Maru and Moro since it had been a while since they were able to be awake but another shudder to the shop changed her mind. The shop was at a point there it probably would only last a few minutes if they were awake.

Allowing the others to work, Yuuko retreated outside. Behind her she could hear the cheerful chatter as Watanuki and Mokona prepared the food. She was glad they were so happy. The dream was soon going to end; those were the words that Clow had told her so long ago. It was hard to say what would finally happen when the dream ended or even when it was going to happen. Despite being powerful, Clow was still occasionally wrong about things. It had been a long time since he had said the dream was soon going to end. Yuuko was beginning to wonder what kind of definition Clow was using as 'soon'.

It was a warm, clear night and the stars could easily be seen. Normally the stars weren't very visible from that part of Tokyo but the shop existed in it's own time and space.

"You are a bastard," Yuuko softly said to the sky as if she was speaking to Clow. She didn't hate Clow, even though he got on her nerves at times. He never intended for her to live on with a non-existence life; although she did blame him for leaving her behind. Leaving her behind to handle the mess that he had created. His actions were now causing difficulties for the other children; Syaoran, Sakura and their companions.

"I thought you were hungry."

Watanuki's voice surprised Yuuko, but there was no indication that he had heard what she had said. If he had heard, he was doing a good job of covering it up. Sometimes Watanuki was so much like Clow, she really could tell they were related, but then there were other times when the two were vastly different. For one, Watanuki didn't have the power to unintentionally extend life; Yuuko liked that aspect.

"You were taking too long," Yuuko replied, reminding herself that both Watanuki and Syaoran wouldn't have existed at all if she had been able to die like a normal person.

Watanuki didn't look insulted, which was what Yuuko expected. He could tell there wasn't something quite right with her. "Well, it's ready now."

With one last look at the sky, Yuuko followed Watanuki back inside. The dream might soon end, but not yet. She still had to live and wait until the day when she finally gained the death that should have happened a long time ago.

* * *

Everyone was asleep as Yuuko moved through the shop. It was late and Yuuko should have been asleep herself but every time she tried closing her eyes she found that she was unable to drift away. Perhaps she was subconsciously fearing the future; not her own future, but Watanuki's. Lately he was finally starting to be happy with his life. It wasn't like before when he had first came to the shop. He had friends who he could rely on and a natural desire to help those who needed helping; it was a trait he had gotten from his parents.

Quietly, Yuuko entered Watanuki's room. He was fast asleep with Mokona by his side. Mokona didn't know what was going on but he could sense that something wasn't entirely right with the current events. Because of this, he insisted on sleeping next to Watanuki, so he could make sure that Watanuki was okay. It was good; Watanuki was going to need his help in the future, regardless of what happened.

Shifting her glaze to Watanuki, Yuuko was glad to see he was resting comfortably. She was glad that Watanuki had entered her life. He certainly had a habit of making things entertaining. Since the time Syaoran first visited her, she suspected Watanuki would one day arrive at her shop, but she never imagined she would grow to care about him so much. Wherever they were, she hoped his parents were proud of the way their son turned out.

"Nothing in this world is coincidence," Yuuko softly said to herself. "Everything is hitsuzen."

She had spoken those words to Watanuki the first time he arrived at her shop. It was no coincidence that two non-existing beings who existed anyways would come together and form a bond. Something other had been at work, but Yuuko couldn't explain what. Magic had a strange way of acting.

Watanuki stirred in his sleep and Yuuko was tempted to enter his dreams to see what he was dreaming about, but she changed her mind when she saw Watanuki quickly settled down once again. Whatever he was dreaming about was nothing to be concerned by. She would be able to tell from his actions if she had to intervene in one of his dreams.

Satisfied; Yuuko left the room, silently moving across the floor. "Keep an eye on him," Yuuko commanded to no one. Despite not being seen, Yuuko knew that Maru and Moro were watching. Like Mokona and herself, they cared about Watanuki and wanted him to be happy.

Retreating back to her own room, Yuuko felt as if she would finally be able to get some rest. Her mind was at ease knowing Watanuki was still okay for the time being. It was hard to say if that would always be the case. She simply didn't know what was going to happen to him. The battle which the other children were currently facing against Fei Wong Reed could effect not only Watanuki's future, but his entire life. It was important they succeeded; no matter what the cost. Fei Wong Reed's goal was foolish; once someone was dead there was no way to bring them completely back. Yuuko knew her questionable existence was only a temporary halt at death. Her life hadn't been the same since then. If she had died that day, not even Clow would have been able to bring her back.

Closing her eyes, Yuuko was only asleep before she opened them again. This time however she realized she was not wake but instead was in some type of dream. Everything was black, even the shop had disappeared. Yuuko wasn't scared or surprised, but instead was slightly annoyed. There was a familiar air about the space that Yuuko couldn't place. It felt like something from a distant memory; a presence she hadn't encountered for a long time.

With her magic, Yuuko created a butterfly that illuminated a bright light. As the butterfly moved in front of her, Yuuko followed it as it lit her way as she walked through the blackness. Even with the butterfly's light she couldn't tell where she was going, but with each step the familiar presence grew stronger and Yuuko wasn't quite sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Either way she kept going.

For hours Yuuko walked, but she never grew tired. It was a dream after all and dreams didn't have to follow the rules of the real world. Finally Yuuko spotted him; a man wearing robes with his back turned to her. Despite not being able to see his face, Yuuko recognized him immediately. There was only one man who it could be; Clow Reed.

"You really are evil," Yuuko said as Clow turned around. She wanted to be mad, but there was a gentle look on his face and it had been too long since the last time she had seen him.

Yuuko made no move to go closer to him. Yuuko wasn't even sure if she would be allowed to move. She could feel Clow's magic and Clow always was stronger than her. It didn't matter. She knew this wasn't the real Clow, but instead it was an image from long ago.

Clow said nothing as he summoned Yuuko's butterfly to him. It floated gently above the palm of his hand before disappearing. The look on his face was clear.

"I understand," Yuuko said, a rude smile crossing her face. "The dream will soon end, huh?"

Clow didn't respond but Yuuko didn't expect him too. Around her the blackness began fading away. The dream she was in was ending and she would soon be waking up.

Blinking open her eyes, Yuuko found herself back in her own room in the shop. Yuuko could tell it was still the middle of the night and she concluded that she hadn't been asleep for very long. Still though, she felt entirely rested. She felt better than she had in a long time. Everything was going to be over soon. It wasn't necessarily going to be tomorrow or even the day after that but it would soon be over and oddly enough Yuuko was looking forward to it. But there was one thing that still concerned her; Watanuki.

Overcome with a sudden desire to see Watanuki once more, Yuuko rose from her bed and made her way back to Watanuki's room. When she reached it, she discovered that Watanuki was still fast asleep, laying on his side facing Mokona. There was a smile on his face, whatever he was dreaming about was a happy dream; Yuuko wanted that happiness to continue.

Yuuko knew that Watanuki was soon going to have a difficult decision to make. Whether Watanuki stayed with the shop or left it, it didn't matter as long as he continued to exist and was happy with the decision he made.

Watanuki's happiness was the one thing left in the world that Yuuko wanted. Knowing he was happy, she'd be able to die peacefully. Whenever that day came.


End file.
